Goodbye To You
by ilovetvalot
Summary: JJ must make a heartwrenching decision regarding her future. Will any of them be the same? JJ/Hotch Updates may be slow. Co-auth'd w/tonnie2001969.
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's Note: Okay, I know I need another story like I need a hole in my head, but his won't go away. After listening ( repeatedly) to Michelle Branch's "Goodbye to You" on a roadtrip, this idea for a JJ/Hotch story wouldn't end. No matter how hard I tried. I have no idea how many chapters this will end up being, so bear with me. And as I don't usually write this pairing, please be kind. It'll have a happy ending, I swear.**_

**Goodbye to You**

**Chapter One**

Pressing a shaking hand against her roiling stomach, Jennifer Jareau pushed back from her desk one last time. Reminding herself again that she was making the best decision for all parties concerned, she desperately tried to ignore the voice in that back of her head screaming that she was taking the coward's way out. She wasn't. She'd considered her decision, examined it from every conceivable angle. Nothing changed. This was best for her and her son, best for the team, and quite possibly the best thing for Aaron Hotchner. Despite what the others might think.

Staring down at the unusually barren surface of her desk, she swallowed, eyeing the single sheet of paper in the center of her desk. Swallowing, she knew this was the final step, endorsed by Erin Strauss herself. All that was left was to deliver it to her Unit Chief…her friend…her one-time, and one time alone, lover, Aaron Hotchner.

Closing her eyes against the wave of pain thoughts of leaving her beloved unit…and its leader sent washing over her, she inhaled deeply. No choice, remember, Jareau? She'd already made this momentous decision, hadn't she? There was a bright and shiny new job in the New York City field office doing exactly the job she was so good at. And it didn't have any memories of Aaron Hotchner associated with it. She wouldn't have to look at the solemn face that she'd only ever truly seen relaxed on one forbidden night three months ago. She wouldn't walk through the New York office remembering every time his arm had brushed hers or how it felt when he rested a proprietary hand against her back. She wouldn't see his eyes every day and remember exactly how they looked darkened in passion, hovering above her as his hands, lips, his very body had shown hers pleasure beyond the realm of her imagination. There, maybe, she could find some respite for this daily misery.

It had been one night. One instant frozen in time where she'd known perfect bliss. It hadn't mattered that she'd still been in a relationship with Will LaMontagne. It hadn't entered her thoughts that he was grieving a loss so deep, rational thought had escaped him. Nothing had mattered to her except him, the notion that she could be what chased his pain to the far recesses of his mind a heady intoxication she'd never expected.

In the harsh light of day, he'd called it a mistake, an anomaly, his eyes pleading with her for forgiveness, his words deeply apologetic. She'd nodded, silently telling herself that what had happened was a moment she'd stolen from time. And thieves were punished, weren't they? Meaningless words about maintaining their friendship and professional relationship had fallen from his lips…that they should put the incident, as he'd called it, behind them and simply forget anything had ever happened. She'd given him her tacit assent, lying through her teeth. There was no way she'd ever be able to forget a single second she'd spent in his arms, too many years of silently loving him between her and mindless oblivion.

Since that night, tensions had ran high within their close knit unit. And she wasn't deluded enough to believe that that originated anywhere other than she and Hotch. Her leaving was best for everyone. Will was no longer a consideration and there wasn't any hope for she and Aaron. She knew it now. Her comprehension had been slow in arriving, but it had come nonetheless. She and Henry needed a fresh start, a new beginning. She owed it to both of them…all of them. Normalcy was out there somewhere, she only had to find it.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Author's Note: Loyal readers, it may be a day or so before my next posting. My Xmas cookies won't bake themselves. No matter how hard I try to wish it so.**_

**Goodbye to You**

**Chapter Two**

Shaking her head, JJ reached for the sheet of paper on her desk, glancing down at the transfer notice one last time. She couldn't put it off forever. She had a six o'clock flight and she needed to be on it. The Delta shuttle waited for no man or woman, not even the FBI. Standing here, reliving the past wasn't going to alter her future. Only she and her actions could do that.

Picking up the paper with nerveless fingers, she scanned her office one last time. Void of all her possessions, it seemed cold now. Or maybe that was just her imagination. No one could deny that it looked unusually barren though. For just a moment, a cacophony of memories flooded her mind, reminding her of days past, of shared laughs and silent tears, all within the confines of this small room. Jerking herself back to the present, she sharply shook her head. The past was gone, never to be regained, and the sooner she realized that, the better.

Turning to gather her coat and bag, her only desire was to do this as quickly and painlessly as possible. Only one person knew that she was leaving today. She'd purposely chosen to wait on telling her co-workers. She simply couldn't deal with the questions and concerns that would invariably come with news of her departure before now.

So his voice from behind her shouldn't have surprised her. She knew her only confidante would eventually try to dissuade her from her chosen path. It was his nature, and he had made no bones about hiding that particular tendency in the past few years. Honestly, she was surprised he'd waited this long.

"Don't do this, JJ. Don't run," David Rossi said quietly from behind her, his deep voice echoing in the empty room.

Jumping slightly as his familiar voice washed over her, JJ shook her head, keeping her gaze averted from his. "I've got to, Dave. I can't live like this anymore."

"Let me talk to him, JJ," Dave pleaded softly with her, watching as she slipped her black trench coat over her slim shoulders.

"To what end, Dave?" JJ asked tiredly, her arms leaden as she forced them through the fabric. "You and I have covered this ground before. He said he wanted to forget it. And maybe he can. I can't. I've tried and I can't. That's my problem, not his."

"Damn it, Jen. Anybody that knows that man knows he's got something on his mind," Dave countered, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Yeah," JJ mumbled bitterly, staring down at her for-once clean desk. "His dead ex-wife."

"Jen, I don't think he knows what he wants right now. But I'd stake my considerable fortune on the fact that the last thing he'd want is for you to leave," Dave replied, his words now soft in the unusually empty office.

"It doesn't matter, Dave. Don't you see? I can't do this to myself anymore," JJ whispered, bending to pick up the transfer notice once more, her vision blurring just for a moment as she blinked quickly.

"You realize that it doesn't matter how far you go, right? You aren't gonna love him any less in New York, LA, hell, Timbuktu, than you do right here," Dave told her gently, watching as her beautiful face clenched in pain. Never had he wanted to kick Aaron's ass more than he did in that moment, seeing her once bright eyes dulled with pain, her face wan and worn. Didn't he realize that he could have heaven with this tiny woman? And yet, here the man was, settling for an eternal hell. What type of man did that?

"Maybe not," JJ shrugged. "But I won't be torturing myself daily with an image of what I can never have." Swallowing, she forced herself to meet her unlikely friend's eyes. "I know you think I'm taking the coward's way out, Dave," she whispered unevenly. "But I don't know-," she faltered, her words trailing off as she dropped her eyes, clenching them shut in vain hope.

Shaking his head, Dave took a step forward. Wrapping his arms around her slender frame, he felt her shudder as a wave of emotion washed over her. "I'd never think that, Jen," he soothed, rubbing a hand up her fragile spine. "But the only family you have is here. If you're determined to leave the unit, I can arrange for a transfer in DC. Stay here where the rest of us can watch after you both. Who the hell do you know in New York City?"

"The same amount of people I knew when I moved here, David," JJ murmured against his broad chest. "I'll meet people. If I'm going to do this, I have to make a clean break." Pulling back, she wiped her eyes, no longer caring about mascara that had faded long hours ago. "Besides, thanks to you, at least we have a place to stay," she said, trying to smile bravely.

"The brownstone is in a good neighborhood. You and Henry are staying there until I have anything you want to rent checked out," Dave ordered sternly. God, if he ever had been gifted with a daughter, he could only hope she'd have been as bright as this young woman in front of him.

"We will," JJ nodded, trying to swallow the swell of emotion rising in her throat, clenching her fist at her side, digging her nails into her palm in a deliberate attempt to distract herself.

"Don't do this, Jen," he tried again, unable to stop himself, unable to resist one last effort at changing her mind.

"He can't give me what I want, Dave," JJ said, shaking her head sadly.

"And what's that?" Dave asked, hoping against hope that he could sway her…say something, anything to convince her that it wasn't impossible. Hell, he saw the way Aaron looked at her…they all did. Surely his two favorite people could find a way to make this work, couldn't they?

"Everything and nothing," JJ said wistfully, smiling faintly up at him with glassy eyes.

"Tell me what I can do," Dave ordered, feeling an unnatural wetness filling his eyes, his once stone heart clenching as he watched her face contort again, pain obvious in her eyes.

"Gather the team in the war room for me. I'll talk to them after I see him. One last time," JJ requested softly, squeezing Dave's arm as she stepped around him.

Closing his eyes as she brushed against him on the way out the door, he said hoarsely, "For the record, I think this is a huge mistake, JJ."

"I know," she replied softly. "But you'll support me anyway," she said, beginning the long journey down the deserted hallway leading to Aaron Hotchner's office.


	3. Chapter 3

**Goodbye To You**

**Chapter Three**

Standing outside Aaron Hotchner's door, JJ rested her palm against the cool wood and closed her eyes, mentally fortifying her defenses. Giving herself a quick mental shake, she forced her hand to form a fist, knocking against the door. It seemed like endless minutes as she waited for him to grant entrance into his office and she couldn't fight the wave of memories crashing over her. How many times had she stood outside his office over the years? Hundreds? Thousands?

"Come in," he called. Those two simple words sending a shiver down her spine and her stomach dropping to her knees. That would very probably be the last time she heard him utter that simple invitation. Blinking back the tears that threatened, she took a deep breath, opening his door before she could give herself time to think about it.

Walking inside his warm office, her eyes immediately found him in his usual position, hunched over the endless paperwork covering his desk. Halting in front of his massive desk, JJ waited for him to look up at her. And her breath caught in her throat when he finally obliged.

"JJ. Did we have a meeting?" he asked, shifting back in his chair as his eyes met hers. Taking in her pale face, he frowned. She looked tired…worn, the dark circles underneath her eyes obvious under the fluorescent light and he mentally kicked himself. He'd never be foolish enough to think that he didn't have something to do with that look she wore.

No matter how many stern commands he had given himself over the past few weeks, he had been unable to forget this amazing woman and the night they had shared. Sure, he had tried to convince himself that it was an anomaly, a physical reaction to assuage an emotional need, a once-in-a-life time occurrence. Yes, he had tried. But he had not succeeded. For thoughts of the tiny blonde refused to leave his mind, invading his every waking thought and his darkest dreams, forcing him to recognize the salient fact that somewhere, sometime, he had fallen in love with Jennifer Jareau.

But he couldn't act on that revelation. How many times had he condemned himself for dragging her into his warped sense of reality? How could he inflict this life of his on yet another woman, especially on one that he loved? He had already cost his child his mother and sacrificed his wife and best friend to the evil that invaded his life. Jennifer Jareau did not deserve to be drawn into this horror, even though she probably understood it better than anyone else. As long as he lived, he would never assuage his guilt over Haley, and he'd be damned if he'd place JJ in that same situation.

So, he had done what he did best. He had walled off his emotions, choosing to revert to his stiff, frozen self, hoping that he had the mental fortitude to maintain the façade. Yes, he still saw JJ on a daily basis, and still managed to maintain some form of professional relationship with her. But he refused to allow her closer, to allow her inside the protective walls, for her own safety. Some might consider his methods cruelly calculated. He however simply found them necessary, for his sanity and her safety.

Her reply pulled him from his reverie, her soft words soft…stilted.

"No..," she said, clearing her throat in a desperate effort to dislodge the sudden thickness, her emotions seeming to catch on her every word. "We didn't have a meeting scheduled, Hotch." Pausing for a moment, she felt the need to swallow again, momentarily wondering how she was even going to get through this entire conversation if she could barely speak a coherent sentence. Finally, she managed to croak out, "I need…that is…I feel like I should……"

Forcing himself to inject a distance into his voice he was far from feeling, Hotch made himself meet her eyes again, dropping his lips into a frown that he really didn't feel. "JJ, unless this is something we need to address right now, I'm a little busy," he said, nodding down at the scattered papers across the polished surface of his desk, partially for her to notice, but mostly to remind himself of the barrier he still needed between them.

His words seemed to help her loosen her tongue, seemed to help her find her voice once again. "Hotch, I'm leaving," JJ said quietly, quickly, watching as he averted his eyes from her again. He couldn't stand to look at her, she thought morosely, her fingers picking nervously at the edge of her jacket. That fact alone only served to remind her that she was making the right decision…for all of them. How could she even imagine a future if he couldn't even acknowledge the present?

"Fine," he muttered, redirecting his gaze to the file on his desk, her forlorn soft voice piercing his heart. Keeping his voice as neutral as possible, he nodded once, his professional reply to everything, as he added, "We can discuss whatever it is you want to go over tomorrow."

"No, Hotch. You don't understand," she said just as formally, sliding the transfer notice in front of him with a flick of her narrow wrist. Forcing herself to use her best press conference voice, she added, "I'm leaving the unit."

Gazing sightlessly at the bureaucratic form in front of him, her words rang in his ears, the sound there but the meaning still escaping him. She was leaving? Glancing at the paper again, he realized that yes, she was leaving. Swallowing, he tried to process her simply spoken words and found it impossible. "Excuse me?" he asked tonelessly, raising his eyes to hers once more. Feeling a twitch starting in his left hand, he clenched his fist tight, crumpling the resignation form in his fingers as he waited for her answer.

"I'm taking the position of media coordinator on the BAU team they're standing up out of the New York field office. I'm sorry, but it's effective immediately. I've arranged for Jordan Todd to take over my responsibilities until you choose my successor," she explained succinctly, trying to keep her voice professional as she stared into the unreadable eyes of his neutral face. Damning her memory, she couldn't help but recall how his eyes looked in the throes of passion, the onyx orbs fairly flashing as he had taken her to height of passion. Pinching her wrist, she winced at the momentary pain, needing the distraction to bring her back to the present. And to his empty eyes.

"Is this what you want?" he asked softly, looking back down at the paper he held in his hand, the only sign of emotion the uncontrollable slight clenching of his jaw.

"It's what I believe is best," JJ replied evasively, her eyes darting away from his as he looked at her, not trusting herself to maintain her composure otherwise. "I'm sorry about the short notice. Director Strauss only informed me this morning that the field office had made their final decision."

Nodding, Aaron searched for words…words that would sway her decision. Words that would keep her here…near him. But there were none, not without giving away his secret. A secret that could potentially cost her a life he held infinitely dear. So, he did what he did best, even though his heart screamed in objection. Offering her an impersonal smile, he nodded, standing stiffly as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. "I wish you luck, JJ. New York will be lucky to have you."

Eyes dilating slightly at his stiffly formal words, JJ felt her chin quiver, the tell-tale sign of an emotional collapse on the near horizon. "Th-thank you. I hope…take care of yourself, Hotch," she said, faltering as she took a step back from his desk, mentally and physically distancing herself as she prepared for her getaway. Grabbing her bag with a trembling hand from where she'd dropped it into an office chair, she hurried toward his office door, her steps determined as she never looked back.

But if she had, she'd never have left. She would have never left him because he would not have let her. For with her quick departure, Jennifer Jareau took what was left of Aaron Hotchner's soul with her.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Author's Note: For those of you following my stories, from now until Christmas, my updates will be coming every other day. Sorry, my friends, blame my children and their countless Christmas activities. As usual, Tonnie and I have a ball bringing you these stories, so, please be patient with us. The holiday season is kicking our collective rumps. Thank you, everyone who is taking the time to both read & review. Please continue! It makes it worthwhile to do this, knowing that we've managed to capture your interest. As ever, we don't own Criminal Minds (though I wouldn't mind having Joe M. for in my stocking this year!).**_

**Goodbye To You**

**Chapter Four**

It was done. Truly, irrevocably done. Closing the door to Hotch's office with a soft click, she stumbled the three steps it took to reach David Rossi's office, her hand reaching out to steady herself on the impersonally white hallway wall as tears blurred her vision. God, she'd known this would hurt. She'd expected the formality of announcing her intentions to be painful. But this searing, ripping feeling in her chest…it was unbearable.

Until this day, this moment, she had never truly realized that a soul could weep.

She didn't bother knocking on Dave's door, instead she simply blindly pushed open the barrier, her mind incapable of small pleasantries. Mindlessly closing the door behind her, she leaned against it, trying for all the world to remember how to breathe as the first teardrops landed warmly on her cheeks. Her thoughts ran rampant then, the sheer volume of emotions invading her thoughts threatening to flood her, to overflow any barriers she thought were so firmly in place. Damn it, why couldn't she just hate him…hate him for not loving her? Sliding down the door, her body barely noticing the coolness of the tiles, she wanted to despise him…blame him for this spineless mass of emotion and tears she had become. If only she could just teach her heart to cooperate with her mind.

Except she knew it was a wasted effort. She'd tried.

Looking up from his desk as his door opened, Dave frowned as he saw her, her normally sedate, composed face crumpling by the moment. Watching as she collapsed in the floor, silent sobs wracking her body, he wondered, for just a bare moment, if perhaps she was doing the right thing. If leaving him was the only path she could travel now. Obviously, the entire situation was breaking her, which was something he had never thought could happen. Shaking his head, he remembered those yearning gazes his best friend had leveled on the small woman in his floor over the past few weeks, and shook those thoughts off. Aaron Hotchner was not his concern right now. Jennifer Jareau was.

Pushing out of his chair, he quickly crossed the small distance to the crying woman, pulling her into his arms as her slight weight settled heavily against him, her arms wrapping weakly around him. Once again he fought the urge to stomp into Aaron's office and put him through a wall. But it wouldn't do any good. It certainly wouldn't help the woman he held in his arms.

"It's okay, Jen," he whispered against her blonde hair, tightening his arms as her sob broke through again. "Just cry it out, honey."

Burying her head in the strong chest in front of her, JJ gulped, then whispered brokenly, "I want to hate him. I really, really want to hate him, Dave."

If only it could be that simple for her, he thought with a sad shake of his head. "What did he say, Jen? What did he say when you told him?" he asked, praying the younger man had at least given a token resistance to her decision to go. Any fool could see that Aaron Hotchner had feelings for the tiny blonde, but the question was, would Aaron admit to them?

Laughing bitterly as she pulled away from him to wipe her eyes, her fingers brushing roughly at her face, she shook her head. "He wished me luck," she said softly, her voice catching as she stared at the top button on his once-starched white shirt. "Evidently, New York will be lucky to have me," she added, laughing bitterly as she relived his parting words to her. Lifting her dull eyes to Dave's, she swallowed. "He was everything a good boss should be. Professional. Implacable. Understanding." Struggling to draw a breath, her voice cracked as she said, stumbling for the words, "Not one ounce of personal concern, Rossi. Not one."

"Jen, that just isn't possible, honey. I know that he…," Dave began, struggling himself to understand the man that until fairly recently he'd been proud to call friend. Glancing hard at the concrete wall separating his office and Aaron's, he once again barely resisted the urge to barrel through the barrier.

"There was nothing, David. Not a shine…not a glimmer. If I'd detected one speck of emotion, I'd reconsider in a heartbeat. But there was just…," she paused, searching for an adequate description and coming up with none. Finally, the silence too quiet, she said, her voice wooden and void of any emotion. "He doesn't care, Dave. He never did. Our night was exactly what he called it. A mistake."

"I don't know what to say," Dave whispered, his heart clenching at the lost looking hovering in this special woman's eyes.

"Nothing to say," she said, shaking head firmly and grabbing his arms as he helped her up from the floor. "Just tell me that you've gotten the rest of the team together," she continued, wiping her cheeks vigorously, trying to eradicate the evidence of her emotional response she'd had to Aaron Hotchner.

"They're all down there," Dave nodded, watching her stiffen her spine and square her shoulders, her fingers pressing momentarily against her eyes. "Although, I really want you to think about…"

"It's done, Dave," JJ said flatly, picking up her purse from the floor. "I'm going to say goodbye to what's left of my family and move on with my life. Now," she ordered, reaching out a hand to straighten his tie, "paste a happy excited smile of that deceptive face of yours and help me pull off the con of the century."

Watching her step out of his office, he knew that his part in this play was not yet done. If the Almighty had ever seen His way clear to give him a daughter, he only wish would have been that she had been like Jennifer Jareau. As his eyes tracked her every movement, he suddenly realized that she was his daughter, in every sense of the word but blood. And because of that, he was going to do what every good Italian father did when his daughter was scorned. And Aaron Hotchner would soon realize that very fact.


	5. Chapter 5

**Goodbye To You**

**Chapter Five**

Looking around the table at the four shocked faces assembled in the war room, JJ swallowed tightly, comforted by the warm feel of David Rossi's steadying hand at her back as she stood in front of them all.

Recovering first, Morgan shook his head, asking in a voice tinged with disbelief, "Is this some kind of joke, Jayje?"

"No joke, Derek," JJ said with a forced smile as she shook her head. "This is just too good an opportunity to pass up," she said with an excitement she was far, far from experiencing.

"But you'll be doing the same job, JJ. The exact same thing. Why not just stay and continue doing it here?"Reid asked blankly. "Here, at least, you have us."

Yep, she had them…and one very painful, living reminder of a mistake she'd had no business making. "Well," JJ said, searching for an adequate reason that might satisfy the young genius that she considered a brother, "there's a huge pay bump, for one thing. As a single mother, I can't overlook the financial security this move will offer me and Henry."

Leaning around JJ to glare at the older man behind her, Penelope growled at Rossi, "And you can't make up that puny monetary differential, Moneybags?"

Shrugging, Dave shook his head. "I tried, Garcia. JJ's proud. She wouldn't take me up on my offer."

"This is an incredible opportunity, Garcia. Setting up a unit from the floor up," JJ said, her enthusiasm brittle even to her own ears.

"Oh please!" Penelope huffed. "You can't tell me that this doesn't have something to do with…"

"Garcia," Emily interrupted, always perceptive. Looking at JJ's pale cheeks, she said softly, "Maybe we ought to start by offering JJ our congratulations on the offer of a promotion."

"But, it isn't a promotion," Reid pointed out. "At best, it's a lateral move to a city where the cost of living is at least fifty percent higher," he frowned, his quick mind struggling to compute how this could possibly be economical beneficial.

"Reid, you heard her," Emily said with a quick look at JJ's tightening features, "The director recommended her. That's a huge compliment."

"Screw huge compliments," Garcia said, moving to stand in front of her best friend and staring into her eyes. "You can't do this, Buttercup. Your family is here!"

And so is the daily reminder that I'll never find happiness with the man I love, JJ thought morosely, staring back at her friend. "This is best for me right now, Garcia," JJ said quietly, willing her friend to understand. "Besides, it's only an hour flight from here to New York City. Think of the shopping we can do when you fly up to see me on the weekends," JJ suggested, reaching out to squeeze Garcie's fingertips, trying to silently communicate through her touch that she simply couldn't stay.

Seeing the resolve in JJ's eyes, Garcia finally swallowed and nodded. "What am I supposed to do without one of my bestest gal pals ever?" she asked, her voice cracking as she realized exactly how serious her diminutive friend was.

"You pick up the phone and you call me," JJ whispered. "I'll always be at the other end of the line, Garcia. You know that."

"I still don't see the cost benefit of this new arrangement," Reid spouted, running his fingers through his sandy hair as he looked down at the figures he'd jotted on his notepad.

Dropping a gentle hand on Reid's shoulder, Emily shook her head, whispering, "Reid, forget it. Her mind is made up." Lifting her understanding eyes to JJ, she asked quietly, "Isn't it?"

"It is," JJ smiled, forcing her voice to remain strong as she looked around at her friends. "I just can't turn down this chance."

Shaking his dark head, Morgan eyed the tiny blonde woman that somehow, someway had managed to keep them all in line for years. "It won't be the same without you, Jayje. I don't care how good Agent Todd is or isn't. Nobody does this job like you," he growled, covering his sadness with trademark surliness.

"You'll get by," JJ replied. Winking, she added, "Who knows? Maybe you'll finally convince her that you aren't the arrogant bastard she had you pegged for."

"She said that?" Morgan yelped.

Stepping around Morgan, Emily rolled her eyes. "Men," she muttered, wrapping her arms around JJ. "You call me if you ever need to talk," Emily whispered into her ear. "We both know that you aren't leaving for any of those reasons you mentioned."

Pulling back, JJ nodded. "Thank you, Emily."

Pushing away from the table, Reid leveled JJ with a confused stare. "I don't get it, JJ."

"You don't need to, Spence," JJ whispered. "All you need to understand is that if you ever need me, all you have to do is pick up that phone. I'm as close as a phone call, okay?"

Staring into her watery eyes, Spence shook his head. "First, Jason. Then, Haley. Now, you? What's happening to our family, JJ?" he asked softly, hugging her tightly.

"Every family changes, Spence," JJ whispered hoarsely. "This is just one of those moments. It doesn't mean that you'll ever stop being my family."

Nodding, Spence took a step back as Garcia barreled forward. Wrapping JJ in a bruising embrace, Garcia held on tightly. "I really, really don't like this, Gumdrop. Who's gonna look after you out there?"

"I'm pretty sure I can take care of myself, Garcie," JJ said, fighting tears. "Besides, if I know you, you'll be on the first flight out Saturday morning."

"Damn skippy," Pen nodded. "Call when you get there," she whispered.

"I will," JJ nodded, taking a moment to look at each face in the room, memorizing their expressions. "I love you guys. But," she said, fighting her tears as she glanced at her watch, "I've got a six o'clock flight and I still need to pick up Henry. I'll call when we land." Seeing their collective worried expressions, she shook her head, determined to dispel their concerns. "I'm going to be FINE," she stressed. "Now, all of you, get back to work before Strauss gives me one last ass chewing as a parting gift."

Watching as her four friends slowly filed out of the room, she sagged back against Dave. "You'll take care of them, right?" she whispered, not trusting herself to turn and face him yet.

"I will, honey," Dave assured her quietly.

"And him?" she asked, her eyes drifting out the door toward the staircase. Hearing only silence behind her, JJ turned, meeting Dave's dark angry gaze. "Listen," she said, resting a hand against his chest, "he was your friend long before you ever knew me. It's your obligation to do this. He's hurting. Maybe not over me, but he's still hurting."

Tightening his lips, Dave forced himself to say, "I'll take care of Hotch, JJ." Although she might not approve of his methods, he amended silently.

Lifting on her tiptoes, she nodded, brushing a kiss to his cheek. "Thanks, Dave. I'll call you tonight, okay?"

"Make sure you do," he ordered gruffly, squeezing her to him one last time before watching her walk out of the Behavioral Analysis Unit's double glass doors.


	6. Chapter 6

**Goodbye to You**

**Chapter Six**

Watching as David Rossi slowly trudged back through the glass doors to the BAU's bullpen five minutes later, Penelope focused a glare on his morose face. "This is it?" she asked baldly. Looking around at her co-workers, she asked, "This is how we let an epic love story, that never really had a chance to begin, end?"

"Baby Girl, it's out of our hands," Morgan offered lamely.

"What epic love story?" Reid asked cluelessly, looking around from face to face.

"I'll explain it later, Reid," Emily whispered, resting a hand on his shoulder. Looking at Dave, she asked, "She's gone?"

"She's gone," Dave confirmed softly, feeling his back tense as he glanced up the stairs toward Aaron Hotchner's closed office door.

"Damn it," Emily whispered, glaring up the staircase. "What's he thinking?"

"The same thing he's been thinking about for months, Emily," Derek shared softly. "His son, himself, and his grief."

"Look, we all KNOW he loves her, Rossi," Penelope snorted, unwilling to waste valuable time sugarcoating the obvious. "When is he going to realize it, too?"

"And if he does, will it be too late," Emily offered faintly.

"Wait! Hotch loves JJ?" Reid said, looking back and forth between his co-workers.

"Yeah, kid, he does. But, more importantly, JJ is in love with him," Morgan explained quietly.

"When did this happen?" Reid asked excitedly, his mind spinning as he tried to process this new information.

"You really are happily oblivious, aren't you?" Dave asked, his voice kind as he looked at the youngest member of the team.

"I deal best in literals, sir," Reid offered nervously.

"Well, then, you should understand this, Reid," Penelope said as she stepped toward Rossi. "I'm literally going to kill our unit chief unless YOU do something, Agent Rossi."

Looking at Penelope uncomfortably, Rossi admitted, "I promised her I wouldn't interfere."

"But she's not HERE anymore, is she?" Penelope retorted angrily. "I say that makes all deals null and void!"

"Rossi, what happened between them?" Derek asked, his voice low and somber in the busy bullpen.

"Use your head, Handsome," Penelope growled, glancing behind her. "I think we can ALL figure out what happened." Eyes moving toward a confused Reid, she amended, "Well, almost all of us."

"Not to be the thundercloud pissing on everybody's head, but, maybe this is actually the best thing for JJ," Emily offered softly. "I mean," she said, glancing up at Hotch's office, "if he can't get it together, is it fair for us to expect JJ to wait forever."

"I refuse to believe that," Penelope said with a firm shake of her pink tinged blonde head. "I refuse to believe such a brilliant man could possibly be that stupid!" Turning back to Dave, she leveled him with a quelling stare…a stare that would have frozen the blood of most men as she asked, "Are you going to do something or not?"

"Believe me when I say that I'm just as angry as you are, Garcia," Dave declared with quiet vehemence. More, he added silently to himself. More because he knew just exactly what had transpired between his friends. And those memories of JJ's confidences only served to ratchet his anger higher.

"There's only a couple of hours before JJ's plane leaves," Emily added with a pointed glance at the clock on the wall. "If somebody is going to say or do something, it needs to happen soon."

"Emily's right," Derek nodded with a pointed look at Dave. "It's you or it's me, man. But somebody's gotta go up there and kick some ass."

"Fuck!" Dave said, his voice a quiet explosion on sound. Shaking his graying head at them, he growled, "If anybody has earned the right to kick Aaron's ass, it's me!" Stomping angrily toward the stairs he barely heard the soft calls of luck as he climbed the few steps. Only one thing pervaded his mind at the moment…the thoughts of avenging a wronged woman and the hope that he could convince his best friend that real love was worth a second chance.


	7. Chapter 7

**Goodbye to You**

**Chapter Seven**

Jerking his head up from sightlessly staring at the file in his hand as his door crashed open, Hotch's gaze collided with the angry eyes of his colleague, friend and one-time mentor. Forcing himself to measure his words as he stared back at the older man, Hotch asked, "Something I can do for you, Dave?"

Slamming Hotch's wooden door with enough force to rattle the windows, Dave leveled the younger agent with a icy look. "I never took you for a fucking idiot, Aaron. But, you, a man I thought I could never view with anything other than respect and admiration, have surpassed new levels of stupidity!" Dave hissed, his tone cold and unyielding. "Exactly who the fuck do you think you are?" Dave asked, stomping toward Hotch's desk with a purposeful step.

"First off," Hotch said, his tone low and quiet, "Lower your voice."

"Afraid somebody might hear what a prize bastard you are, Aaron?" Rossi sneered.

"What the hell are you talking about, Rossi. Spit it out or leave. Your choice," Hotch ordered, his words clipped as he clenched his fists against the blotter of his desk.

"Jennifer," Dave bit out, "you son of a bitch! It's about Jennifer."

Stiffening at the mention of her name, Hotch swallowed tightly before he said flatly, "Agent Jareau chose to accept a post with another unit. It happens."

"THAT'S what you've got to say about it? Well isn't that professional of you, Aaron," Dave replied snidely. "Very well done. Were you that proper when you were fucking her? God knows, you have been while you've spent the last few weeks fucking her over!"

An angry, embarrassed flush slowly spread across Hotch's high cheekbones as he glared across the desk at his best friend. "What exactly do you think you know about any of this, Rossi? And what the hell makes it any of your business?" Hotch growled. Dear God, had JJ actually turned to Dave for comfort. And if so, how much comfort had the former Lothario provided the woman he'd fallen in love with?

Narrowing his eyes, Rossi shook his head. "I don't think anything, Aaron. I know! I know exactly what you did. Before and after. My question is how could you do it?" he asked bitterly. "How could you do that to her of all people?"

"Leave it alone, Dave. On this, you aren't nearly as smart as you think you are," Hotch warned softly, his spine stiffening as he noted the censure in Dave's eyes.

"Oh really?" Rossi replied sarcastically, balling his hands in fists by his side. Cocking his head, he added, "Then maybe you'd like to enlighten me since you think you are more knowledgeable. But let me warn you, Aaron, the answers you provide better be worth it, because otherwise, the conversation phase of this little tete a tete is over."

"Damn it, Dave, who made you JJ's lord and protector all of the sudden?" Hotch shot back, his shoulders raring back as he pushed up from his chair, pressing his fists against the pristine blotter on his desk, his thoughts running rampant as he stared down his one-time best friend.

"You don't think she needs protecting? You think she's a fucking roll in the hay that deserves to be treated like the flavor of the night? Damn it, Aaron, I never…."

Aaron's fists slammed against his desk, papers flying at the strike, his voice uncharacteristically loud in the confined space. "Don't ever speak of her like that again, you son of a bitch, or I'll…."

His eyes narrowing as he stared at the obviously angry man, Rossi took a calculated guess, his gut telling him that the younger man might have more feelings than Rossi had first given him credit for. "You'll what, Aaron? Your track record at protecting her or her honor seems a little tarnished right now, so you'll have to excuse me if I'm not exactly quaking in my boots over here," he replied, his tone deliberately goading.

"What do you want me to do, Dave?" Hotch said, his anger fading as quickly as it had arrived, hanging his head as he tried to gather his thoughts. "You want me to say that it almost killed me to let her walk out that door? You want me to say that I've sat in here for the past half hour barely resisting the urge to call the director and have her transfer rescinded?"

Raising an eyebrow, Rossi eased down into a padded chair as he said calmly, "I want you t tell me if either one of those statement is true."

Raising his eyes, barely, Hotch met the older profiler's gaze as he said, sighing, "Yeah, they are."

"Then why in the name of all that is holy haven't you done something, man?" Rossi demanded, leaning forward. "She would have stopped in a moment if she had know that…."

"And that's exactly why I couldn't," Hotch replied softly, his head hanging once again, his eyes staring unseeingly at the transfer orders on his desk.

"Really, Aaron, you're going to have to work on this transparency thing," Rossi snorted.

"I couldn't let her stay. I couldn't let another woman suffer because of my choices and my demands," Hotch shrugged, dropping hard into his leather chair, his body suddenly unable to support his weight as he admitted his fears aloud. He whispered, "I couldn't risk losing another woman that I love to the danger that surrounds me. I can't hurt her like that."

The words hung in the charged air, no sounds breaking their meaning as the men merely stared at one another.

Rossi shook his head finally as he asked, his voice filled with a mixture of kindness and incredulousness, "So you'd rather lose her now? You'd rather let her think that you used her, that you have no feelings at all for her?"

Biting back the pain that flowed through his chest once again, Hotch muttered, "It's easier now. She'll forget me eventually. She'll make a new life that will keep her safe."

"You're even dumber than I thought five minutes ago if that's what you believe, Aaron," Dave grumbled.

"Get out, Dave," Hotch ordered roughly, turning sharply to stare out the window at the quickly darkening sky.

Crossing one leg over the other negligently, Dave shook his head. "I don't think so. You and I, Aaron, we're far from finished from this conversation.


	8. Chapter 8

**Goodbye to You**

**Chapter Eight**

"Damn you, Dave," Hotch whispered, his nails digging into his palms as his fists clenched. "I'm warning you; leave this alone!" he demanded.

Looking up at the man he had considered to be his friend, Dave's eyes narrowed. "Or what? You'll treat her even worse than you already have? Little goddamned chance of that, is there?"

"Fuck you," Hotch breathed, his eyes widening at his old friend's verbal attack. "You don't know a damned thing about it."

"Again, Aaron, I disagree. I know plenty. And the sadder part still…I know it's all true. It sounded too much like you to be anything else. She got too close, didn't she? Too close to seeing the real you. So you cut her out of your life like some kind of malignancy. You made her so miserable that she didn't have any choice but to leave. Leave or let you destroy her. Hell of a choice you gave her," Rossi spat, watching Hotch's face tighten as he pushed further, deliberately trying to gouge an honest response out of the man rather than the tired platitudes that he was throwing in all directions.

"Damn you!" Hotch growled, his words literally snapping out of his chest. "You don't understand!"

"What's to understand? You fucked her and threw her aside like a piece of trash," Dave shrugged negligibly, waving a hand in the air. "You'd rather sleep with your faithless wife's ghost than take a chance with the beautiful woman that had the misfortune to fall in love with you."

There were many things that Aaron Hotchner could have said to David Rossi in those next moments. Countless things. But Aaron Hotchner was in pain. Excruciating, nerve-wrecking pain. And he wanted to strike out. More than that, he wanted Dave to strike back. And physical pain might be the only thing that could distract him enough to prevent him from breaking down entirely, to keep him from shattering the tenuous hold he had on his emotions. The truth was that David's accusations had hit their mark. So it was with a malicious gleam in his eye that Hotch smiled grimly as he asked, "Jealous that I got there first for a change, Rossi?"

Feeling his ire rising by the second as his jaw clenched, Rossi leaned his palms against Hotch's desk, staring hard into the other man's eyes as he ground out, "Say that again, Aaron, and you won't have a chance to worry about hurting anyone else in your life because I'll make sure that you have no life left."

"Touch a nerve, did I?" Hotch replied, his flashing eyes matching those of the man across from him, mistakenly assuming that Rossi's reaction was only because Hotch was too close to the truth.

"What you touched was my last nerve, you dumb son of a bitch," Rossi snapped back, his eyes narrowing as he watched Hotch. He added as he straightened, his voice deadly calm, "That woman is the closest thing to a daughter that I'll probably ever have, so you can consider this a warning from her father. You screwed the wrong woman this time. You screwed the wrong damn family, and retribution is not a threat, it's a promise."

"You? With fatherly intentions? That'll be the day," Hotch smirked, his stomach churning as he realized just how far he'd pushed the beautiful innocent woman he'd fallen in love with. Ignoring the screaming voice in his subconscious that was ordering him to find her, to make this right, he merely tightened his jaw as he glared at the older man.

Reaching across the desk, Dave grabbed the lapels of Hotch's jacket, jerking him violently forward. "What kind of fool was I to think you ever deserved a woman like her? I'm done. There's just no way to help a fucking idiot, is there?" Abruptly letting go, Rossi pushed the younger man backwards, turning on his heel as he snapped out, "Good luck figuring out how to fix your life, Hotch, but do us all a favor and quit fucking up JJ's in the process."

Realization dawning in his eyes as his hip caught sharply against the edge of his desk, Hotch winced visibly, his eyes snapping quickly to Rossi's retreating back. Jerking upward as he moved forward, he said, his voice catching in his throat, "Wait, Dave. Tell me how to fix this."

Turning sharply, Rossi narrowed his eyes, condemnation mixing with incredulousness as he stared at the other man. "Now you want to fix it? After you've shredded her heart?"

"Damn you, I don't know what to do here, Dave!" Hotch exploded, his hands dropping uselessly to his sides.

"Well, that depends on you!" Dave snapped, shoving Hotch into the wall. "Do you want to act like the man I've admired for years or the coward your father always accused you of being?" he barked harshly, ripping off a decades old scab in mere seconds.

"You bastard," Hotch whispered, narrowing his eyes as he struggled against Rossi's surprising grip. "I was trying to protect her."

"By decimating her, Aaron?" Rossi asked, releasing the younger man as he shook his head. "What the hell did that accomplish?"

"If she's not here…around me…I can't hurt her. I won't have to watch her die, too," Hotch choked out, no longer able to meet his one-time mentor's eyes as he revealed the one thing that he had held tightly hidden.

For a long moment, silence invaded the dimly lit office as that admission hung in the air. "Jesus, Hotch! Is THAT what you've been thinking…that if you love her back, she'll end up dead?" Dave asked finally, confusion and pity coloring his whispered words.

"It was true for Haley, wasn't it?" Hotch asked hoarsely, bracing one hand against the wall as he struggled to stay upright, his muscles threatening to fail him at any moment. "If being a coward keeps JJ living and breathing, that's something I'll have to learn to live with."

"Damn it, Aaron," Dave said softly, pity and understanding filling his voice, "I hate to tell you this, but that isn't how it works."


	9. Chapter 9

**Goodbye to You**

**Chapter Nine**

"Don't!" Aaron growled harshly. "Don't look at me like that," he ordered his best friend, his fingers twisting against the worsted wool of his slacks, the fabric crumpling in his tight grip.

"Don't look at you like what, Aaron?" Dave asked softly, his eyes never leaving the younger man's ashen face. Hotch looked almost as bad as JJ had and it was heartbreaking. And sadder still, it was wholly and totally unnecessary, for both of them. When the hell was the man before him going to realize that he was letting salvation slip right through his fingers?

"Like you don't know whether to pity me or knock the hell out of me," Hotch snapped, running a trembling hand through his dark hair, fingers unable to remain still any longer.

"Oh, if I thought beating the shit out of you would make a difference, I'd call Morgan in here to assist," Dave replied evenly, one eyebrow perfectly raised. "But the torture you're inflicting by your own hand is more punishment than he or I could ever deliver. And for the record, I do pity you, Aaron. I'd pity anybody acting as stupid as you are."

"I'm saving her," Hotch sputtered, determined to justify his actions against the condemnation. He knew he'd been cruel and he hated himself for it, far more than anyone else ever could. But he'd already watched one woman he'd loved die in his lifetime…and all because of his actions. The guilt still ate away at his soul, annihilating any earthly relief he could ever hope to obtain. Hell, the only thing that even came close to soothing that burn was Jennifer. But he was more than willing to sacrifice the solace she gave him if it meant he could keep her and Henry from harm. He'd already robbed one boy of his mother…he'd never do that to Henry, too. Never willingly allow another innocent child to suffer for choices he made. Yes, he loved JJ. Loved Henry, too, for that matter. But he wouldn't put his happiness above their safety.

The price of love was too costly for Aaron Hotchner, and he was unwilling to write that check with someone else's life.

"You're killing her," Rossi said flatly, rejecting Hotch's reasoning.

"Don't say that," Hotch whispered hoarsely, casting his eyes down, blindly staring at the transfer order once again, a crumpled reminder of the very love he had thrown away.

"Why?" Dave asked simply, his right shoulder rising and falling in perfect synchronicity. "It's true. You're killing her spirit…you're robbing JJ of what MAKES her JJ! And all to salve your own conscience, Aaron!" Pausing, he added, his eyes darkening, "You're doing this for YOU…not HER!"

"How can you say that?" Hotch asked sharply, his head popping up, narrowing his eyes at the older man. "You think this isn't killing me? That letting her go isn't ripping me to shreds?"

"Don't know," Dave shrugged, eyes flashing. "This is the first time you've shown me something other than that stone mask you've worn on your face since Haley died, Hotch."

"That mask is all that keeps me sane some days, Dave," Hotch said gravely, his lips pressing together as he felt his jaw clench. Forcing himself to loosen, to breath, he stuffed a shaking hand into his pocket as he sighed. "The only time I've even felt anything close to alive was in her arms," he confided quietly.

"And you're willing to give that up?" Dave asked incredulously, shoulders thrown back. "She loves you, you idiot. Mask and all! Do you have any idea what kind of gift you're throwing back in her face?"

"Of course I do," Hotch whispered brokenly, unable to forget the look of sorrow that had flowed on JJ's face when she left his office. "And in another life I would have held on to her with both hands…but I've seen what happens now when I try to hold on to things. They get taken away, Dave."

Shaking his head at his Unit Chief, Dave decided maybe it was time for some blunt honesty. Waving a hand toward the door, he said with a low voice, "You know she left for you…not her. She said that maybe this way you could move on. That it would be easier on YOU. SHE didn't want to go. Not really. She left because you didn't give her any other choice. You ran her off, Aaron. You ran her off from everything she knows…every support network she has. With a child, Aaron. Is that something you can live with?"

Struck dumb by Dave's admissions, Hotch stared back into the dark eyes of his mentor, unable to form a coherent thought let alone a spoken sentence. After a moment, he found his tongue, asking, "I thought she wanted to leave. Are you sure, Dave?"

"One of the last things she said to me was that if she'd seen just a glimmer of something…anything in your eyes for her, she'd stay in a heartbeat. So, yeah, Aaron, I'm sure. But she said you stared right through her and wished her well," Dave said, staring back into the turbulent eyes of his colleague, knowing that he was taking the only path possible.

"I couldn't let her…If I'd have really looked at her, I'd have cracked wide open," Hotch admitted roughly, the words literally catching in his throat as he tried to develop a plan, a way to change the catastrophe he had created.

"Maybe that wouldn't have been such a bad thing. She's probably the only woman on earth capable of putting you back together, my friend," Dave replied with brutal honesty, staring across the desk at the younger man as he wondered if there might be a small hope for the future.

"What airport, Rossi?" Hotch asked quickly, his hands dropping to the desk as he grabbed for his Palm Pilot, the weight of the cold metal against his fingers snapping him into focus.

"Pardon?" Rossi asked with a slow smile, recognizing the signs of the capitulation of Aaron Hotchner.

"You heard me," Hotch growled, glaring at his oldest friend as he rounded the desk, grabbing for his jacket as he headed toward the door, his steps eating up the distance in double time. "Don't make me ask twice."

With a widening grin, Rossi nodded as he reached for the doorknob. "Dulles, asshole. I'll drive."


	10. Chapter 10

**Goodbye To You**

**Chapter Ten**

Hurrying down the metal staircase as his feet ate the distance to his team's bullpen, Hotch felt Dave at his back and could almost hear the man grinning. "Quit smiling like a damn idiot, Rossi!" he ordered over his shoulder.

"Yeah, I'll get right on that," Dave chuckled, following the younger man closely as they reached the bullpen's landing.

Opening his mouth to offer a scathing retort, Hotch stumbled backwards as a solid hand flew into his chest.

"YOU! This is all your fault, Aaron Hotchner!" Penelope Garcia railed angrily. "I don't know what you did or how you did it, but you can just undo it! JJ can't leave D.C.!"

"Garcia-," Hotch said pleadingly.

"Don't you "Garcia" me in that tone! Normally, you're the Boss Man and I'm your humble, willing servant, Agent Hotchner. But this…this…is just so fundamentally WRONG! How could you let her go? How could you just let her walk away from all of us like that? What were you thinking?" Pen shrieked.

"Mama," Morgan soothed, easing the hand pounding against their Unit Chief's chest back before she inflicted permanent damage, "I think the man might have something he'd like to say if you'd just give him a chance."

"What could he possibly have to say? I'D say he missed the opportunity to say anything worth hearing when our girl walked out the door," Pen snapped, her eyes flashing angrily at Morgan.

"Garcia," Rossi said calmly from behind Hotch.

Pointing an accusing finger at Rossi, Pen narrowed her eyes as she ordered, "Don't you DARE defend his actions, you…you…turncoat!"

"I'm not," Dave said with a small shake of his head…"But-,"

"Trust me, Garcia, he won't," Hotch said in unison. "If you'll just let me…"

"Let you what, Hotch?" Emily asked, joining the group. "Do some more of whatever it is you've been doing to make JJ miserable for weeks. To the point where she felt it was necessary to leave the unit? I think you've done more than enough, don't you?" she asked sarcastically.

"Damn it, people! If you'll just let me-," Hotch growled, trying to get a word in edgewise.

"Let you?" Reid asked, tilting his head as he stared at his boss. "You know, I realize that I'm always the member of the team that's least likely to recognize emotional entanglements. But, it's even obvious to me that something happened between yourself and JJ. She's left. Shouldn't you be satisfied now?"

"NO!" Hotch exploded. "That's what I'm trying to tell you people! I need to get to the airport. I have to stop her! Now, would you all please MOVE?" Hotch shouted, drawing stares from the surrounding desks. It was every day that the perpetually staid Aaron Hotchner raised his voice and the spectacle was attracting more than its fair share of attention.

"You're going after her?" Penelope asked blankly.

"I am if I can convince you people to get the hell out of my path! You're blocking my route to the elevator," Hotch groaned desperately.

Eyes widening as realization dawned, Penelope yelped, "Out of his way, people. We're gonna miss our flight." Grabbing the lapel of Hotch's jacket, she dragged him toward the bank of elevators. Slapping a hand against the button, she grumbled, "No way in hell I'm missing the conclusion to this little BAU miniseries. Not after investing six years in it."

"What?" Hotch asked incredulously.

"You really don't get it, do you? We've ALL been waiting for this moment, Boss Man!" Penelope chirped, shoving him into the open car as the rest of the team crowded around him. Hitting the button for the ground floor she rolled her eyes. "No way in hell am I or anybody else here gonna miss the culmination to the BAU's answer to the love story of the century!"

"Got that right," Dave muttered, tapping his foot impatiently as the elevator car slowly descended.

Looking around at his fellow agents, Hotch whispered, "You ALL knew how I felt…how SHE felt?"

"Of course we did," Emily snapped, her words clipped and precise as an aggrieved look passed over his face.

"Gotta say, it was pretty obvious, Hotch," Morgan snorted.

"Men can be such morons…even the nationally renowned ones," Penelope moaned, casting a pitying look in Hotch's direction.

"Em had to explain it to me if it makes you feel any better," Reid chimed in, offering Hotch a sidelong look.

"God save me from my well-meaning colleagues," Hotch muttered, staring straight ahead.


	11. Chapter 11

**Goodbye to You**

**Chapter Eleven**

Racing through the busy international Dulles airport, Hotch barely spared a glance over his shoulder as he determinedly strode down the tarmac, his voice snapping out sharply, "Time, Dave!"

Glancing at his watch as he and the rest of their motley crew kept pace with their intrepid Unit Chief, Dave reminded himself that gloating was in poor form. However, it was appropriate to ask why in the hell hadn't his stubborn friend listened earlier to his sage words of wisdom, wasn't it? "5:45, Aaron," he bit out. "Exactly two minutes have passed since the last time you asked me that question," Dave added, grabbing Emily's arm as a passerby almost trampled her, pulling the raven-haired agent closer.

"Damn it," Hotch muttered, increasing his already fast pace, his long legs eating the distance between his current location and JJ's terminal as he sidestepped a woman with a cane. "What time did you say her flight departed?" he growled over his shoulder.

"Six sharp," the entire team answered in perfectly choreographed unison.

Eyeing the crowd gathered ahead at the security checkpoint, Reid shook his head in worry. "If we have to wait in that line, there's no way any of us will make it to her in time."

Lips tightening in a compressed line, Penelope Garcia narrowed her eyes at the crowd ahead. "Oh, the hell you say!" she hissed, straightening her shoulders. Drawing a deep breath, she yelled as they drew closer to the security parameters guarding the gates, "Make a hole, people! Federal agents coming through!"

Watching as his technical analyst shoved her way past the irritated hoards, clearing a path in her wake, Hotch had to smile at the incongruity of the entire situation. One thing about Garcia…if she couldn't command respect, she'd steal it. Nodding appreciatively at Garcia as she stepped aside at the gate, they all quickly flashed their badges, hurrying through the metal detectors.

Following her colleagues, Garcia looked down as a security guard grabbed her arm, her eyes widening as she felt herself come to a full stop.

"Your badge, ma'am," the guard ordered. "Can't let you pass without a badge or a boarding pass."

"But I'm with them!" she yelled, pointing at the quickly departing backs of her friends.

"Badge or boarding pass, ma'am," the guard repeated, crossing his arms over his chest.

Glaring at the burly officer standing in front of her, Garcia smiled placidly. "Fine," she said calmly. Inhaling deeply, she screeched at the top of her lungs, "MORGAN!"

Each member of the team froze in their tracks, mid-stride, save Hotch, as that irate scream filled the airport, overshadowing every other noise in the massive building.

"Crap!" Morgan yelped, turning to see his Baby Girl flapping her arms in the air, hopping up and down, turning her obvious agitation on the poor TSA agent who had the unfortunate luck of being on duty today. "Go!" he ordered the rest of them, waving his arm toward the terminals. "We'll catch up!"

~*~

Scant seconds later Morgan and Garcia had rejoined their fearless group as they weaved their way through the winding corridors of Dulles airport.

"Time, Dave!" Hotch panted, jogging as he drew closer to Gate 7G, pushing past a raucous group of young men wearing backpacks.

"5:55" Dave gasped, struggling to keep up, the stitch in his side reminding him that he had recently slacked on his jogging. "So help me God, asshole, if you're EVER this stupid about this woman again, I'm going to end you!" Dave threatened, struggling for breath.

"I'll help you," Emily muttered, dodging another passenger as she fell into step beside Rossi.

"Come on, people," Pen enthused, clapping her hands as they passed another gate, "This love story has been six years in the making! Just a little further," she cheered.

"I see them!" Reid yelled suddenly, one long hand waving in the air as he pointed excitedly toward a blonde head in the distance.

"Yeah, she's getting ready to board!" Morgan yelled, his eyes sighting on his team mate. "We're gonna miss her!"

"The hell we are," Emily growled, quickening her steps even as she turned behind her. "Do your thing, Garcia!"

Nodding, Garcia inhaled deeply, shrieking, "Buttercup! Wait!"

"Hotch, Rossi! Go!" Emily ordered, shoving Rossi's back.

*~*

JJ smiled politely at the friendly clerk in front of her as she reminded herself for the tenth time that she could not break down here in the middle of one of the world's busiest airports. Once she and Henry were firmly ensconced in their comfortable seat aboard the plane, she promised herself that she could give in to those tears. But not yet…not now.

Shifting a drowsy Henry in her arms as she dug in her black bag for her boarding pass, she swallowed, fighting the lump that had taken up residence in her throat. They were almost there. Almost on the way to a new life in a new city with a new job, where they could attempt to forget the old, the past. And she felt like her small world was caving in on top of her. Pulling the ticket free, she froze in surprise as she heard that wonderfully familiar screech echoing around her.

"Buttercup! Wait!"

Swallowing as her fingers tightened around the boarding pass, JJ turned around, her eyes rounding in shock as she watched her entire team barrel toward her. And Hotch and Rossi were leading the pack. Watching as Dave darted around Hotch, JJ could only stare as he sprinted toward her.

Skidding to a halt in front of the woman he'd come to love as much as any daughter he could have ever had, Dave grinned and winked at her, silently assuring her that her life was about to change.

"Dave," JJ whispered, searching his eyes even as she glanced uneasily over his shoulder. "What the hell-,"

Shaking his head, Dave interrupted her as he reached for the baby in her arms, "Sometimes dreams come true, kid. Give me the baby."

Relinquishing her son to Dave's arms, JJ shook her head blankly as she watched her almost- asleep son drop his head against the linen-covered shoulder. "I don't under-"

"He'll explain it," Dave explained, jerking his head toward an out of breath Aaron Hotchner. "In the meantime," he said, looking meaningfully between Hotch and JJ, "I suggest you work this out because I'm holding this baby hostage until you do." Meeting JJ's eyes, he implored her, "Hear him out, Jen. He's been a stupid son of a bitch, but he's had his reasons. Listen to him." And with that word of advice, Dave turned away, stalking back to their gathered colleagues.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N - One more chapter to go after this, my friends. I hope you're enjoying the ride!**

**Goodbye to You**

**Chapter 12**

Lifting her shocked gaze to Aaron Hotchner's turbulent eyes, JJ could only shake her head, the power of speech almost beyond her capabilities at that moment. Swallowing hard, she croaked out, "Hotch, what-,.

How dare he do this to her now? Just when she'd finally made a decision to move on with her life, here he stood, looking at her like…like…she wasn't exactly sure what that look was.

Lifting a hand to silence her, Hotch took a deep breath, the airport air stiffly invading his lungs as he kept his eyes glued to her, afraid that she would disappear before he could find the breath he so desperately needed. "Just give me a second, okay, JJ?" Struggling to recover his breathe and find his voice, Hotch struggled with what to say. What could he say to convince this incredible woman in front of him to forgive him? To give him a chance at a future he knew he didn't deserve?

Shifting her gaze to the waiting ticket clerk then back to the uncommonly disheveled man beside her, JJ whispered, "Hotch, I'm sort of working on a limited timetable here."

Damn him for doing this here, in a public place, in the middle of what had to be the largest travelling crowd Dulles had ever seen. Everywhere she looked, it seemed like people were staring at them. And she'd done such a good job at keeping her wits about her since walking out of the BAU, having forced herself to maintain the last shreds of composure for her sake and for her son's sake. And yet, now here HE was, ready to wreck whatever semblance of control she'd managed to find. And in front of complete strangers, too.

"I know," he replied huskily, following her gaze to the curious woman standing in front of them, his eyes silently pleading with the uniformed agent, begging her to give them a few moments before she enforced whatever bureaucratic rules were sure to come.

"Maybe you'd like to step to the side, Ma'am," the kind lady behind the counter suggested, nodding to the line developing behind them. "You'll have about fifteen minutes."

"Thank you," JJ murmured, allowing Hotch to take her arm and shift her to the side into a small alcove, her eyes glancing sharply around her. Noting he'd kept his hand gently surrounding her arm, JJ carefully pulled away. Lifting her expectant eyes to his, JJ tried to keep her face blank, void of any emotion that could be used against her. God knew, she'd given the man in front of her enough ammunition to hurt her for three lifetimes. He didn't need any more. Calling upon every press trick she had ever learned, she said in a deceptively calm voice, "What do you want, Hotch? I'm fairly certain I've said everything I need to say."

"You have, JJ" Hotch said thickly as he searched her face for a sign, any sign that she could forgive the way he'd acted over the last several weeks. Seeing none, he forged ahead, unconsciously leaning closer, refusing to let her more than a few steps away from him. "But, I haven't. Not by any stretch of the imagination. First, I owe you an apology," he admitted softly. "And there aren't words enough to express what I huge mistake I made with you."

"Yes, Hotch, I'm well aware that you think what happened between us was a mistake," JJ replied, her voice tinged with bitterness, her shoulders stiffening again as she shifted the carry-on bag, tightening her fingers around the well worn leather. "You didn't need to come all the way down here with an audience," she muttered with a pointed look at their team, her eyes watching them watch her, "and reinforce it. I got the idea. I'm going!"

"Damn it," Hotch muttered, tightening his hands around her arms when he felt her take a step back, mentally refusing to let her leave him again. "That isn't what I meant when I said I made a mistake. Making love to you was the one thing I did right, Jennifer. The one thing in months that's made me feel human again. Touching you reminded me that I was alive. That I could actually still feel."

"Yeah," JJ chuckled without humor, the familiar ache in her stomach returning with a vengeance as her emotions slid back to the surface. "You felt repulsed by me. Disgusted by what we'd done together. You wanted to forget it happened. And seeing me was a constant reminder that you'd slipped up."

"No! JJ, no!" Hotch whispered, moving a half-step closer to her in the bustling airport. "I could never be repulsed by something as pure as what you offered me. I was disgusted by myself, JJ. Never by you." Licking his lips, he took a deep breath, knowing that if he had any chance at all to keep her in his life, then he had to be painstakingly honest. He had to lay his soul bare, open to her perusal, no longer hiding behind the shields that served him so well. And he had to do it in a busy airport with his teammates looking on. Staring into her confused eyes, he realized that as hard as it was, there wasn't anything he wouldn't do to keep this woman beside him. Drawing a harsh breath, he started, hesitantly, "JJ, you have to understand, after Haley left…I never …I couldn't…"

"You never stopped loving her," JJ said flatly as she prayed he couldn't hear her heart cracking in her chest, the pain ripping harshly in her soul. Ignoring the sudden pounding of her heart in her ears, she shrugged, a fake casual she definitely didn't feel, "I get it, Hotch."

Shaking his head, wondering how he had already wrecked this opportunity when he had barely started, he whispered, "No, you don't. Yes, I loved her. She was the mother of my son and I spent the biggest portion of my life with her. But I hated her, too. For leaving…taking my son…for not giving me a chance to be better. And then she was gone. Because of me. Because of a decision I made, my son lost his mother."


	13. Chapter 13

**Goodbye To You**

**Chapter Thirteen**

Pausing, searching her eyes for any flicker of acceptance, of hope, he added, carefully, "And I lost my way. Sure, I came to work and did my job. Then I'd go home to Jack and try to put on my dad mask. But I was dead inside. Then you…you made me feel again. In one sweet night, you reminded me what it felt like to love someone. To want to protect and shield them from any and everything that could possibly hurt them. And I realized…I thought…that your biggest danger originated with me."

"But that's…that's ridiculous," JJ gaped in shocked amazement, his words slowly seeping into her damaged soul while slowly feeling the warmth of his fingers seep into her chilled skin. Staring into his earnest eyes, she realized he wasn't here to hurt her. He was here to make amends.

"It didn't seem so stupid at the time," Hotch mumbled, his lips barely moving as he tightened his fingers around her delicate skin. "At the time, all I could think is that I'd already gotten one woman that I'd loved killed. And I couldn't risk another."

"Wait!" JJ murmured quickly, shaking her head as she struggled to process his words above the cacophony of sounds surrounding them. "It sounds like you're saying that…"

"That I love you," Hotch supplied, staring somberly down into her wide blue eyes. "I do. I love you," he admitted quietly, his chest tightening as he let those tiny words slip out of his mouth. Swallowing hard, he continued, quietly, "I swear to God, JJ, I tried to stop. Tried to tell myself that you were better off without me. But the truth is, I'm a better man with you. And I can be a better man for you and Jack and Henry if you'll just let me try. Dave was right. I've been a complete idiot, but I did have my reasons. I just couldn't see how foolish they were until I almost lost you. Tell me that I didn't wreck what we could be," he pleaded, his dark eyes beseeching hers, his body slipping another inch closer. "Tell me that you'll let me try to undo the damage I've done. Please, JJ."

"I'm not…I can't…" JJ stuttered, shaken to her core by the admissions and confessions streaming from the normally tightlipped man in front of her. Feeling herself spiral against the cacophony of sounds and sights around her, she slipped her fingers against his chest, needing a steadying base, something to keep her grounded in this sea of change. Drawing in a shuddery breath, she whispered, "Are you sure, Aaron?"

"Never more sure of anything I've ever said or done, Jennifer," Hotch vowed, dropping his hands from her arms to her hips, his thumbs sliding against the edge of her winter sweater. "I'm beyond sure. I'm positive. Just give me a chance," he begged, no longer afraid of hiding from others or from himself. "I don't expect you to believe I've changed overnight. Just give me the opportunity to prove that I will. That I can."

Biting her lip, she stared back at him uncertainly, terrified to believe, petrified at the thoughts of opening her damaged soul again. "You hurt me," she whispered, the words grinding out of her throat, "So much."

"I know," he nodded, his words pained, forcing himself to move beyond the anger he felt at himself for harming this amazing woman. "And as long as I live, I'll try to earn your forgiveness for that. But, I don't ever want to hurt you again. I've spent too many long years hurting the people that mattered to me. I love you, Jennifer."

"I love you, too," JJ whispered brokenly as a tear leaked down her cheek, leaving a trail against her pale skin. "Loving you was never a problem. But trusting you…"

"I know I'm asking a lot of you…too much. But Dave asked me tonight if I could live without your light in my life, JJ. And the answer is that I know I can. But, God, I don't want to try. Not when I know that what we could have together would be amazing," Hotch whispered, lifting a trembling hand to wipe the tear trailing down her cheek away, silently wishing that he could remove her pain just as easily.

Swallowing, JJ felt her resolve weakening as she stood meeting the steady, sincere gaze of the man she'd loved longer than she wanted to admit. "Strauss would never let us work together if we were in a relationship," she said slowly, her voice filled with practical worry, and maybe just a smidge of hope. "And I need a job."

"I'll find you a comparable position here in DC. Perhaps not in our unit, but somewhere close," Hotch promised readily, the massive void inside his soul suddenly filling ever so slightly at her words. "And if I can't find one, we both know Rossi will manufacture one. He'd do almost as much as I would to keep you and Henry here. I'm pretty sure if you get on that plane, you've signed my death warrant with him. And the rest of the team, for that matter," Hotch smiled.

"Last call for all boarders of the 6 pm flight from Dulles non-stop to La Guardia," they both heard over the loudspeakers.

"What's it gonna be, JJ?" Hotch whispered, staring into her eyes, praying he'd made enough of an impact with his declarations to sway her.

"How can I leave when everything I ever wanted is right here?" JJ said weakly, dropping her head as her tears began to flow in earnest.

Releasing the breath he'd been holding, Hotch pulled her into his arms as she buried her wet face against his neck. "Thank you," he whispered shakily against her hair. "Thank you so much, JJ," he breathed, tilting her head to capture her lips in a kiss filled with love and promise.

And as David Rossi watched Aaron Hotchner sweep Jennifer Jareau into his strong arms, he heaved a sigh of relief. Dropping his eyes to the drowsy baby in his arms, he whispered, "Looks like you just got lucky, kid. You've inherited a daddy and a grandpa in the same day." Looking back up at the young lovers entwined in each other's arms, he murmured with a soft smile, "Life is looking pretty good right about now."

_**FINIS**_


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